Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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