some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
