ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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