I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
