The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we're making bets on your personal life
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize