we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
