So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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