Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
