Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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