In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
