Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
