And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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