she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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