I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
