He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
