Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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