So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
