yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
