Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
