Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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