smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
