Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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