Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
