READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
