fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
