Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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