I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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