dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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