I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
