and you said cock pushups were impossible
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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