you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
