In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she looked like the before picture.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
