he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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