Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm always down for nudity.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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