worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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