As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
