I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
