break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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