he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
