I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
