Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
