I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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