I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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