I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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