fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
