he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
