I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Still dying that you shit outside
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
