Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
