Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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