She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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