Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
