Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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