DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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