Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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