I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
