im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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