Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
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