turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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