4 words: hood of his car
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
