Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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