Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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